The New Facebook Format

Yeah, a whole page of nothing.

This takes my social networking to a new dimension.

If The Bartender Cards You

I wasn’t going to card this guy, but he was displaying “card me” behavior.

Upon entering he seated himself on the bar, & then refused to make eye contact with me, looking to his left & right, until I was standing right in front of him, saying “Hi, can I get you something?”   At this, he glanced at me, then looked back down to the side & asked for a Coors Light.

Behavior like this, to me, can mean certain things:

Snoped it & it’s (not!) accurate

Update: I was wrong; it’s not accurate!   See the comments below.

Normally as soon as I see the acronym “FWD” & a wall of emails of people I don’t know, I delete it.   But since it was from one of my girlfriends who very rarely ever forwards anything of this sort, I decided to take a look at it.   Naturally I Snoped it first, & it was verified by Snopes to be true, & the figures mentioned in it to be more or less accurate.

For your reading convenience I’ve edited it for spacing issues, which often happens when something gets forwarded by email several times:

Hating On Asia

This post is dedicated to my good friend who volunteers his time on Sundays to barback & run karaoke for me, who just informed me (after I had already posted this) that Asia was actually “really nice” on Friday.   So, maybe there is hope!

I work at a tiny 5 table bar on Sundays.   The place is dead until 10ish & then usually fairly merry by 11.   On Sundays we normally only see the same people – all cool people who didn’t know each other at first but are now all friends.   It’s the Sunday community.   I’ve put effort into building it, welcoming nice people & icing the disruptive ones.   It gives me a less than stellar reputation but like I give a shit.   My Sunday regulars are happy, & more than one person has expressed to me how enjoyable Sunday nights are compared to other nights.

When I say that I “ice” the disruptive ones, I mean that I inform them, matter of factly, that they are being disruptive, which is apparently enough of a crime against humanity that they leave in a huff & don’t come back.   I don’t insult, name call, or even raise my voice.   I just tell them the truth.   In response to this, I’ve been flipped off, been called a “fucking bitch,” & been accused of a number of things – racism, incompetence, stupidity – but mostly all while they were leaving, which works out for everyone.   Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.

Amazon Kindle: I think this is going to work

Since I have everything delivered to me at work, & I only go into the office twice a week, I got my Kindle on Wednesday.   I had a feeling I could have gotten it sooner but our receptionist doesn’t message me about goodies unless I ask her to watch for something.   I mean, it’s not like I don’t have constant packages from Amazon already.

I think I read about Amazon’s Kindle around a year ago, & I immediately dismissed it.   Old school dead tree reading, baby!   It wasn’t until my friend Joy brought it up, a few months ago, that I actually gave it any thought, & frankly, it only took a few minutes for me to think maybe it was worth examining.   I mean, mp3s have downsides; the sound quality suffers & then your ears become accustomed to listening to tinny, compressed crap.   But there isn’t really a downside to downloading a book other than the physical presentation, & the new generation of Kindles looked kind of… ok.

PMS.

Ok, it’s hard to tell when someone is PMSing if they are just normally bitchy.   See, I know what you guys immediately thought as soon as I mentioned “PMS.”   Bite me.   To be honest, I’ve never really noticed an increase in bitchiness just before my period, perhaps for the reason just stated.   I have noticed, for several years, that I crave food I normally am not interested in – Twix bars, pizza, pancakes – for a few days before my monthly visitor arrives, but that’s about it   However, I gained a bunch of weight in the last few years.   More fat equals more estrogen production, & it could be that in my case chubbiness does not translate into jolliness.   Bummer, huh?

Yesterday this guy walked into our tiny little bar & while we were still setting up & stood in the middle of the room, looking around confusedly.   I greeted him, he responded, & then he went back to looking left & right in confusion.   The bar only has 5 tables.   It’s small.   If he was looking for someone, he would have found them by now.   I mean, there were only 3 of us in the entire place & we could all see each other.   But this guy, he seemed to need help.   But he also looked like an idiot.

“What?”   I asked him.   He looked at me in confusion.   “You look confused,” I said.   He continued to look that way.   It appeared I would have to walk him through some kind of thinking process.   It’s not really in my job description; I’m here to help relax thinking processes, but that’s assuming it’s a thinking customer.

I did it.

I did a ton of research before finally clicking.   That is, I veered off at the last minute from the “Add to shopping cart” button at least twice by finding ONE MORE THING that needed investigation.   The Research Method helped me to hold out for over 24 hours.   In actuality I’ve been very quietly considering Kindle for several months.   I have 2 full, double stocked bookshelves & stacks of book-filled boxes in my room.    It’s not the price ($259) of this portable, 1,500 book bookshelf that gave me pause; it’s the fact that it won’t be paper.   It won’t make the little noise when I turn a page.   It doesn’t look like I can bury my nose in it.   I’m not sure this 8″ x 5″ thing will help me lock out the world like a book can.   I mean, just look how vulnerable that girl looks in the picture.

Maybe if I hold it really close.

I’m gratified by the fact that Amazon keeps on file all your Kindle purchases & allows you to re-download them if needed.   Frankly, having a new 1,500 book shelf will now allow me to shop irresponsibly.   For the last few years I have been reluctant about new book purchases, weighing how much I wanted to read them against how little space I had for them (welcome to the other half of my queen-sized bed, which you will share with the cats.).   Now I can buy all the cheap fiction – Lilith Saintcrow, Jim Butcher, Laurell Hamilton – that I want.   I don’t have to keep looking for the hardcover 3-in-1 editions.   Whether or not I can make the world go away remains to be seen.

Dressed in red but not Santa

Christmas Night after everyone went home there was a tapping at my window.

At first I thought it was a big ass cockroach.   It was about two inches & flapping frantically against the screen.   I was about to go for my can of Brakleen (best roach killer, evar) when I realized that roaches didn’t have bright red bellies like this.   Upon closer inspection it was revealed that my visitor was a moth.

We see a decent amount of hawk moths in Honolulu.   Most of them are these brown & grey feathery things, some of them as big as birds.   I see a lot of the pink & green Oleander Sphinxes, but nothing with a red belly.   This moth wasn’t as big as a lot of moths I have seen, but quite colorful.   I decided I should get a few photos for later contemplation.

The Christmas Survey That Keeps On Giving

I published this as a Facebook Note, but in case any of you who are not my Facebook friends would care to use this very useful quiz on your Facebook (Or MySpace.   Or whatever.), here it is.   Happy Christmas fishing!

No idea what to get for someone? Tag them with this survey. And fill it out for all of your friends as well.
1. COPY.
2. MAKE YOUR OWN NOTE & PASTE IT THERE.
3. WRITE IN YOUR OWN ANSWERS.
4. TAG EVERYONE YOU ARE SHOPPING FOR PLUS A FEW MORE SO THAT NO ONE KNOWS FOR SURE IF THEY ACTUALLY HAVE TO SHOP FOR YOU TOO.

Sam’s Guide To Aion

No, I am not publishing an MMO guide that my friend Sam wrote.

I’m writing a personalized guide for my friend Sam, for whom I bought a copy of the very pretty, highly anticipated (400,000 preorders) MMO, Aion.   A hardcore console game player, Sam has never played a PC based MMO before.   While I know he’s intelligent enough to figure things out on his own & Aion actually has very good Beginner’s guides ingame, I’m writing here tips & advice I would give him were I sitting next to him at his computer.

Why did I not buy Sam a copy of WoW instead?