As The Bar Turns, 3-24

full_sexy_alligatorLike last week, there were 2 exciting incidents at the new job.

The first was that Waitress4 had taken herself off my service & so tonight my sister was my cocktail waitress.   I was pleased to not have to deal with W4 & delighted to work with Audrey.   We haven’t worked together since I was married, & frankly she hasn’t cocktailed for me since On The Rocks, which was over 10 years ago.

So I was looking forward to a real treat: a cocktail waitress that knew how to do a sweep.   Meaning, she is capable of obtaining drink orders from several tables, “sweeping” down the tables in an aisle, for instance, before returning to the bar to call her order.

Why is this a good thing?

It’s a good thing because in the time it takes me to serve up 1 bottle of beer, which is the average order for the average dumb waitress, I could easily serve a bunch of beers.   Here’s how it works:

1. Visit all the tables in an aisle, getting drink orders from each one.
2. Go to the bar & order the drinks.
3. Serve the drinks to the tables.

brain-hemorrhageInstead, this is what a lot of waitresses do:

1. Go to 1 table.
2. Go to the bar & order 1 beer.
3. Serve the beer.
4. Go to the next table.
5. Go to the bar & order 1 beer.
6. Serve the beer.
7. Find out that someone on the same table has just finished his beer, since you were too focused on the 1st guy’s beer that was empty to notice the other beer that was almost empty.
8. Go to the bar & order 1 beer.
9. Serve the beer.
10. Never get a break because you are spending more time running back & forth between the bar & your tables than actually serving beers.
11. Notice the bartender beginning to give you annoyed looks because you are coming & back & yelling “Order!” to order a single drink… 5 times a minute.

For the record, Audrey did the single drink thing to me for a few minutes just to piss me off for a minute.   Yeah, ha ha, funny.   I was ready to disown you.   For the rest of the night, which wasn’t very busy, everything went quite smoothly.

The 2nd exciting thing was that Waitress4 showed up & sat on my bar.   And she wasn’t there to patronize me; she was there to piss me off.

“I don’t know if you remember, but last week…” she began telling me, in her loud, fake solicitous voice as she sat between the customers on my bar, how I had not paid her out for a drink last week Tuesday.   Naturally I had no idea what she was talking about.   Certainly it’s possible that I forgot to pay her a commission, but frankly 7 days later there’s no way I’m going to remember.   Then she mentioned that there had been, on a specific customer’s tab, 2 shots which I had left off.   “You made them a couple of Orgasms,” she said.

cassieThere’s where I knew she was lying.   I don’t know what’s in an Orgasm.   I know it’s Creme de Cacao, but that’s about it.   I’ve never had to make one in 21 years of F&B.

W4 just came in to fuck with me.   She drank her beer that one of the regulars bought her, did her little embarrassment attempt, & of course left no tip.   After she left I fumed internally for a little while.   A poor stupid girl like that is only going to look stupid in the end, but her sang-froid was just annoying.   In a perfect world I’d be able to reach over the bar & rip her mouth off her fat little face.   But no, this is not a perfect world, which makes me sad.   On top of that the manager had agreed to pay her out without any kind of proof (frankly, if it was a drink off a tab, which she had said it was, then my drawer would have been over by that amount), & now also thought that I had given away 2 drinks which I’m certain I never poured.

So I spoke with him when he came in.   I also mentioned the incident with the shot glass & said that I hoped she wasn’t doing this out of vindictiveness (of course she was).   His response: “Sometimes (she) can be a little bitch.

On a happier note, the manager had a message for me from my cop friend’s now ex-girlfriend, who wanted to apologize for her behavior & to tell me that it had nothing to do with me.   I asked him to thank her & let her know that I had not taken it personally. 

Well, that’s nice.

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