Seems like we in Hawaii have been having more accidents on our streets than in previous years, & as a result we get to see more State fundraising efforts like Click It Or Ticket & the cellphone ban. Yay, right? No, of course not. As if cops need more crap to pull us over for. As a Hawaii resident with the tremendous luxury of only having to leave my house 4 times a week & none of those times being during peak traffic hours, I don’t have to deal with the bulk of the crackheads & retards on the road like most of you guys, but I still run into a few of them every once in awhile.
I don’t think speeding is the real problem. Sure, we have speed limits for a reason, which reason I experienced intimately when trying to navigate the turn in the Like Like onramp to H-1 East one evening. And I don’t deny that speed can be a problem.
But what I really think is that dumbasses are the problem.
But this is not going to be another one of those blogs where Lauren rails against stupid people. Well, not primarily.
I bring news of a wonderful, new(ish) website called Zapatag.com, which could potentially be wildly effective in reducing daily Road Rage, & almost certainly daily Road Nerdrage. At Zapatag you can plug in the license plate number of the person who attempted to enter your freeway lane through you (you dodged – good job) & then went 49mph, & write them a little note giving them some helpful pointers on their driving skills.
This could totally revolutionize Road Rage, my friends.
Speeders, drunk drivers — sure, they should slow down & sober up, but no legislation ever seems to address the Stupid Drivers in Hawaii. The kid in the Car That Goes Boom whose pounding bass has managed to erode the tissue past his eardrums into his actual brain. The geriatrics case who is trying to navigate these roads & is distracted by the confusion over the fact that they’re not made of dirt any more. The Korean lady in the Mercedes who can’t speak a word of English & got her Hawaii Drivers License by turning her road test into a happy ending. The mom in the big ass, sight obstructing van that thinks that simply having a big rubbish can on wheels means that everyone else is supposed to see her first, so she doesn’t need to look for them.
I didn’t figure out how to work Zapatag right away. At my Twitterfriend @hawaii‘s suggestion after I wished death on some dumbass in a beamer, I made an account at Zapatag, & entered the LPN & my words of wisdom (condemnation). I then looked for other reports & found many — from all over the US.
But I don’t care about bad drivers who are not on the same island as me.
It turns out that the Zapatag Home page simply shows whatever entries have been posted by anyone recently. It doesn’t automatically focus on your own state. The “My Neighborhood” link is fairly useless, just bringing up a map on which you click click click to zero in on your area, so that it can tell you there’s nothing there.
To see what reports are being made in Hawaii, you, logically, want to see reports made by people in Hawaii. Chances of a person in Hawaii reporting on a bad driver in another state are fairly low. You can create a feed – like on Facebook & Twitter – by “following” these people. As on Twitter, you have to find them & add them.
I have not yet discovered a function that will let me see an index of all Hawaii profiles. I started with @hawaii & his lovely wife @kilinahe, then browsed their friends & followees & Followed anyone who seemed to be making entries. Some of the people I am following are madmarv, pineapplejuice, & rossb. I saw a number of lurker profiles; although they were situated in Hawaii I didn’t bother to Follow them.
I don’t recommend Zapatag simply for the vindictive or meager venting possibilities (you can make a blog for that. lol). There have already been 2 reports (by different Zapatag folks) on the same guy, committing the same offense both times. This is just the beginning. In the past, informing someone he or she was a bad driver & that we hoped that they would stop tailgating or be more careful when switching lanes was virtually impossible without it turning ugly. Now, with this website, which has achieved nationwide usage, we can tell them online — & being nice is a totally viable (but optional) option.
And sure, that dumb bitch who might report me for cutting her off & slamming on my brakes the other day is leaving out the fact that she cut in front of me & then drove 10 miles below the speed limit prior to that. However, if 5 people post complaints about me for my reckless driving, it might give me a little pause. I might actually spend 30 seconds thinking about my driving.
And all joking aside, that could save a life.
And screw you guys, I’m not telling you my license plate number. Go stand in a crosswalk where I can find you.
My Zapatag profile is 614. Feel free to Follow me. I’ll be using this thang.