The Christmas Survey That Keeps On Giving

I published this as a Facebook Note, but in case any of you who are not my Facebook friends would care to use this very useful quiz on your Facebook (Or MySpace.   Or whatever.), here it is.   Happy Christmas fishing!

No idea what to get for someone? Tag them with this survey. And fill it out for all of your friends as well.
1. COPY.

1. Do you believe in Santa Claus?
— Well… I figure he must. Otherwise who keeps giving me these lumps of coal?

2. What are your favorite colors to wear?
— Navy, black, dark green, burgundy.

3. What are your favorite colors to decorate with?
— I like neutral colors.

4. Where do you shop most for clothes?
— Bras: VSC (a specific one; Sunway knows!). Jeans: Lucky (I like the Sweet N’ Lows). I just made a rhyme, didn’t I.

5. What items would you like Santa to drop off to you this year?
— I need a new DVD drive for my computer. I’d love some good speakers for my SACD player. I would like to get another acoustic guitar. And frankly if someone bought me all the Lady Gaga & The Veronicas CDs then I could say it wasn’t my idea & I was just keeping them so as not to hurt anyone’s feelings.

6. Do you have any hobbies? If so, what are they?
— I read a lot. I play WoW & Aion. I have yard projects. I hem my own jeans. By hand. I write short stories in which people I don’t like are leisurely & painstakingly tortured for periods of sometimes months until they die. And then they are ground up for cat or dog food. I’m a practical kind of story teller.

7. What is the coolest gift you have gotten in the last few years?
— Audrey got me a dvd player last year. And, I figured out how to use it. I have watched 3 dvds on it so far. I still have to figure out this stupid remote control. I think it’s childproof.

8. Do you prefer practical gifts, or decorative gifts, or just straight out toys?
— I actually really like practical gifts. Like, I would be totally stoked if someone gave me $50 worth of Diet Rockstar. I’d even be stoked over $30 of Diet Rockstar.

9. How much are you spending on your friends this year?
— Well. Probably $30ish, but I’m not exact. I did spend $130 on one friend, but I really wanted to get a certain item for him. Next year I’ll give him coal; I have a lot.

10. If you gift someone, do you expect them to gift back?
—Absolutely not. I got some great gifts for my friend Bin in the past fully knowing that he was never ever going to get me anything. Just the very fact that he felt like shit every Christmas (once I gave him an entire mint lot of Sandman comics – the entire A Game Of You – & he said that it made him want to cry) made me feel warm & happy inside. Giving has its own reward, yo.

11. If someone gifts you, do you then feel obligated to scramble around & get something for them?
— It depends on the person. With some people, I know they’re conditional, so I scramble.

12. How do you feel about gift certificates?
— If it’s to Amazon or Victoria’s Secret I LOVE THEM. I also have no prejudices against WoW or Aion Game Cards. Sometimes the best gift is what that person would get for themselves & you are not bright enough to think of yourself! It’s perfect!

13. If your birthday is near Christmas, how do you feel it would be fair for people to gift you?
— Well, my birthday is in April. But I do know people whose birthdays are near Christmas & they always feel that it is disappointing when people combine their birthdays & Christmas. I can see that. I mean, it’s their birthday just like it was mine in April or my sister’s in February. It should be treated as a separate thing.

14. What is the most embarrassing gift you ever received?
— When I was little someone gave me this dress that looked like someone dismembered Strawberry Shortcake & made her into a smock. Thank God it didn’t fit. I plotted their destruction all the way until 6th grade I think.

15. What media icons do you like? Betty Boop, Snoopy, etc.
— I like Emily The Strange. I like Sandman-related stuff. I rarely see anything I like out there though.

16. What do you hope people DON’T get for you this year?
— Craft fair stuff. I can’t even exchange that crap. I mean, seriously. I’m not going to wear these earrings that some handicapped guy that shops at Bead It! made. It’s just going to end up in my rubbish can. Dude, just get me that $18 pack of individually wrapped TP at Costco. That’ll last me an entire year & then next Christmas you can get it for me again & it’ll be, like, a Christmas tradition.

17. Do you like massages, makeovers, spa gift certificates?
— No. Unless they deliver to my house. And dance.

18. If someone gives you a really crappy gift, do you resent them for it?
— I used to. But now I’ve come to understand that some people are just not that smart. Or not very imaginative. Or they have no money & probably regifted this piece of shit. Or that they just don’t give a flying fuck about me but they felt obligated to wrap something up in Christmas wrapping paper & put my name on it. But no… no resentment here.

19. Do you ever regift?
— Hell yeah. If I don’t give a flying fuck about them. Actually, my biggest problem is that sometimes I think something (a cd, or a book) is so awesome that I decide to order 20 copies of it to give away at Christmas. And then I only have like 3 friends. And then the following year I’m not sure if I gave them this last year & my Christmas Received Excel file is on my old computer that died… but I still have 17 of it… should I take a chance?

20. Would you prefer if people just plain asked you what you want for Christmas?
— No. I can never remember what it is that I want when someone asks me that. Fortunately, I have this handy quiz here. =)


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