If The Bartender Cards You

I wasn’t going to card this guy, but he was displaying “card me” behavior.

Upon entering he seated himself on the bar, & then refused to make eye contact with me, looking to his left & right, until I was standing right in front of him, saying “Hi, can I get you something?”   At this, he glanced at me, then looked back down to the side & asked for a Coors Light.

Behavior like this, to me, can mean certain things:

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Snoped it & it’s (not!) accurate

Update: I was wrong; it’s not accurate!   See the comments below.

Normally as soon as I see the acronym “FWD” & a wall of emails of people I don’t know, I delete it.   But since it was from one of my girlfriends who very rarely ever forwards anything of this sort, I decided to take a look at it.   Naturally I Snoped it first, & it was verified by Snopes to be true, & the figures mentioned in it to be more or less accurate.

For your reading convenience I’ve edited it for spacing issues, which often happens when something gets forwarded by email several times:

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Hating On Asia

This post is dedicated to my good friend who volunteers his time on Sundays to barback & run karaoke for me, who just informed me (after I had already posted this) that Asia was actually “really nice” on Friday.   So, maybe there is hope!

I work at a tiny 5 table bar on Sundays.   The place is dead until 10ish & then usually fairly merry by 11.   On Sundays we normally only see the same people – all cool people who didn’t know each other at first but are now all friends.   It’s the Sunday community.   I’ve put effort into building it, welcoming nice people & icing the disruptive ones.   It gives me a less than stellar reputation but like I give a shit.   My Sunday regulars are happy, & more than one person has expressed to me how enjoyable Sunday nights are compared to other nights.

When I say that I “ice” the disruptive ones, I mean that I inform them, matter of factly, that they are being disruptive, which is apparently enough of a crime against humanity that they leave in a huff & don’t come back.   I don’t insult, name call, or even raise my voice.   I just tell them the truth.   In response to this, I’ve been flipped off, been called a “fucking bitch,” & been accused of a number of things – racism, incompetence, stupidity – but mostly all while they were leaving, which works out for everyone.   Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.

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Amazon Kindle: I think this is going to work

Since I have everything delivered to me at work, & I only go into the office twice a week, I got my Kindle on Wednesday.   I had a feeling I could have gotten it sooner but our receptionist doesn’t message me about goodies unless I ask her to watch for something.   I mean, it’s not like I don’t have constant packages from Amazon already.

I think I read about Amazon’s Kindle around a year ago, & I immediately dismissed it.   Old school dead tree reading, baby!   It wasn’t until my friend Joy brought it up, a few months ago, that I actually gave it any thought, & frankly, it only took a few minutes for me to think maybe it was worth examining.   I mean, mp3s have downsides; the sound quality suffers & then your ears become accustomed to listening to tinny, compressed crap.   But there isn’t really a downside to downloading a book other than the physical presentation, & the new generation of Kindles looked kind of… ok.

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PMS.

Ok, it’s hard to tell when someone is PMSing if they are just normally bitchy.   See, I know what you guys immediately thought as soon as I mentioned “PMS.”   Bite me.   To be honest, I’ve never really noticed an increase in bitchiness just before my period, perhaps for the reason just stated.   I have noticed, for several years, that I crave food I normally am not interested in – Twix bars, pizza, pancakes – for a few days before my monthly visitor arrives, but that’s about it   However, I gained a bunch of weight in the last few years.   More fat equals more estrogen production, & it could be that in my case chubbiness does not translate into jolliness.   Bummer, huh?

Yesterday this guy walked into our tiny little bar & while we were still setting up & stood in the middle of the room, looking around confusedly.   I greeted him, he responded, & then he went back to looking left & right in confusion.   The bar only has 5 tables.   It’s small.   If he was looking for someone, he would have found them by now.   I mean, there were only 3 of us in the entire place & we could all see each other.   But this guy, he seemed to need help.   But he also looked like an idiot.

“What?”   I asked him.   He looked at me in confusion.   “You look confused,” I said.   He continued to look that way.   It appeared I would have to walk him through some kind of thinking process.   It’s not really in my job description; I’m here to help relax thinking processes, but that’s assuming it’s a thinking customer.

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