My Bachelor’s Butter Crepe

This is for my fellow single peeps who, in the middle of the night, find that they are craving butter crepes.   And my brother.

My mother’s recipe, which I lost, made enough of these to feed several people.   In my case, I only wanted enough to satisfy the midnight craving of one person.   Since it was too late to call my mother for the recipe, I decided to call upon Logic to devise a recipe.

I do this a lot out of laziness but it gets me by.

The Ingredients.

1 egg
1/3 cup flour
1/8 cup sugar (or a big heaping tablespoon)
A squirt of cooking oil
A dash of salt

What It Means To Run.

Mix all this together at the sink because you’ll be adding water as you mix it to get the right, runny consistency.   When I say runny I mean if you squirted it in your nose it would run.   At a medium pace.   It wouldn’t slowly edge down your upper lip like a glacier.   You’d still be able to catch it – just barely – with a tissue.   If you’d be unable to catch it, it’s too runny.   You’ll have to either throw this away & try not to ruin the next batch, or add more flour, eggs & sugar, which basically turns it into The Couple’s Butter Crepe recipe (good job, moron) unless you are able to just use part of an egg, or wait for the natural evaporation process to remove the water from the mix, which might take a few days.   Yeah, just toss it & start over.   It’s not like you had to make it with truffles.

The Sacrificial Crepe.

Lube your frying pan with a sliver of butter & pour a small bit of your runny batter, tilting the frying pan to spread it around.   You’re not going to eat this one.   This is the Sacrificial Crepe.   Don’t ask me why, but the 1st one always comes out crappy but somehow it sets the pan for the rest of the crepes.   And don’t feed this to your dogs because they shouldn’t have flour made from wheat.

The Cooking Process.

After your Sacrificial Crepe, you can now start cooking your first edible crepe.    The hardest part of this is getting the batter to spread out evenly & thinly in the pan, because it will want to just sit there & cook.   So skillful coordination between pouring & tilting is required.   You will find that you will make very fancy, lacy designs – octopi, spiders, & even video game creatures.   Once spread, the crepe will signal you its desire to be flipped by sporting little bubbles; when you flip it, you will see a very nicely browned surface (see above).   The 2nd side, however, will not brown nicely & will instead look like chicken pox scabs on a hepatitis victim.   Do not be daunted by this; simply flip the crepe over so that the pretty side is on the bottom, then fold it & deliver it to your plate.   Butter.   All is well!

Your subsequent crepes will be cooked in this order: spread batter in pan, butter crepe in plate.   Cut crepe in plate with your fork.   Flip crepe in pan.   Eat pieces of crepe in plate.   Flip pan crepe back over, fold & drop onto plate.   Repeat.

I don’t know how many crepes this recipe makes because I ate them while the next one was cooking.


4 responses to “My Bachelor’s Butter Crepe

  1. This is a great blog. Who makes crepes entertaining? Or uses snot as a reference for consistency! Awesome. I love crepes. I love crepes with Nutella.

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