DUI Wednesdays: Kick Em When They’re Down!

People suck.

Just the other week the small group of friends I drink with was abuzz with the “schadenfreude” of a couple who had moved away but kept up to speed with the island by religiously enjoying the Honolulu Police Department’s weekly posting of DUI arrest mugshots.   While there is nothing wrong with that, when one of our own group of friends got DUI’d & had his mugshot posted, this couple linked it on their Facebook page along with some rant about drunk drivers being idiots & “when will they ever learn.”   It was pointed out, in subsequent discussion, that she doesn’t even drive while he has been known to drive drunk on a regular basis.   However their both being in a different state gives them immunity, & therefore, apparently, the right to feel morally justified in deriding, humiliating, & patronizing a (former, I suppose, now) friend.   “Why would they do something like that?” I had asked in shock, when I heard about it.   “She seems to be the kind of person who delights in the misfortune of others,” someone said, sadly.

I ended my friendship with these people a couple of years ago for no particular reason other than it seemed that we were simply not on the same page any more, & now I can see that we’re really not on the same page.   I don’t think I’ve ever felt so good about closing a book.   I’m so glad I didn’t have to stick around for the rest of the story.

But apparently my ex-friends were at the forefront of a brand new trend.   They always were ultra cool, super hip.   DUI Wednesdays popped up on Facebook & people have been joining it by the dozens, including many people I know & like.   Mostly people who don’t drink very much or at all.   Of course.   So now, these are people I know, like, but have just that much less respect for.

Now, I know the mission statement behind DUI Wednesdays.   It’s there to help.   And maybe it will, although there’s no proof that it will.   But one thing is guaranteed: anyone who joins this group & joins in ridiculing, condemning, & humiliating anyone who gets mugshotted for DUI will feel SUPERIOR.   They will feel cool.

For some, lowering yourself is worth it.   To feel cool.

I’m not saying that drunk drivers shouldn’t pay the price for their actions.   Frankly, drunk drivers should consider themselves lucky if they only get arrested for DUI.   That’s the best possible thing that can happen to them.   If they killed someone else on the road, they would be wishing they had just been pulled over & had their license taken away.   Drunk drivers should even feel lucky if all that happens to them, beyond just (“just” as in “fair”) prosecution, is that they are made fun of by a horde of assholes who have dehumanized them to the point of urging each other to find their individual Facebook profiles & harrass them, or posting their photos & making lewd comments & then congratulating each other.

DUI Wednesdays is not really about the drunk drivers.

The drunk drivers are just a bunch of pictures, effigies, toys.   They’re not people, at least not to this group.   They’re targets.   And target practice is FUN.

This group is not humanitarian, nor is it for the improvement of society.   It’s for self righteous folk to belittle & humiliate the vulnerable.   It’s something people always want to do but don’t because it wouldn’t be nice.   But these drunk drivers?    They have no rights!   They are less than people!   They aren’t even human!

DUI Wednesdays is about its membership.   It says more about its membership – the people jeering & harrassing & condemning – than it does about the actual targets.   The people who have suddenly found a way to be part of The Cool Kids because they don’t drink, or they don’t drive, or they do but they haven’t been caught, & they’re here to spit on those who have because it proves that they are better than someone.

I know really nice people who joined this group.   They’re nice, but they have no character.   They don’t think about the consequences of their actions & what it says about them.   They just know that their friend invited them to join & it’s cool.   And that is how 99% of the people out there are.   We are so entitled to our superiority.

I’ve gotten out of bed at 3:30am (when I had a day job, btw) to pick up a drunk friend so she wouldn’t drive.   More than once.   I’ve stayed out until 4am babysitting someone who wouldn’t give me his keys because I didn’t want him to drive.   I’ve driven or followed people home countless times because I wasn’t sure if they could drive, or I’ve hosted after hours card games at my own house (which was near the bar) so people could sober up before driving home, even, once, at the cost of my own safety (but that’s another story).   And I have never once argued or hesitated when someone told me to give them my keys; in fact, I am usually the one offering my keys to someone because I know that I shouldn’t drive.   The last time I asked someone else to drive, we actually had access to a breathalyzer & I scored a .05.

I have never been DUI’d & the single time I was put through a sobriety check I blew a 0.0.   I had spilled wine on my shorts earlier that evening & the cop smelled it.   I have a friend who, realizing he was drunk & shouldn’t drive, pulled over into a parking stall on the side of the road, put his car in Park, reclined his seat & took a nap.   He was being as responsible as he could.   Unfortunately, he left his keys in the ignition to keep the AC on, & HPD used that as an excuse to haul him into the station.   He wasn’t anywhere near .08 but it was just an example of the lack of sufficient doughnut shops in that area.

When someone I know gets a DUI I feel sympathy, but I also feel glad that it wasn’t something worse.   And then I feel a little responsible, because we should all police each other.   We shouldn’t be pushing that last shot if someone doesn’t want it.   We shouldn’t turn a blind eye when someone looks too drunk to drive.   We shouldn’t – like my ex-husband’s friends – fill a person up with liquor until he can’t even say his own name, then decide it’s time to go home… & leave him there.

There is nothing wrong in seeing the mugshots & laughing at them.   I saw one when they first began being published & I laughed.   I thought it was hilarious that some of them were smiling.   There is nothing wrong with finding these pictures funny.   There is nothing wrong with the voyeuristic enjoyment every Wednesday.

There is something wrong with making a Facebook group to unite the Holier Than Thou in a concerted effort to humiliate these people.   It doesn’t make their crime any less criminal.   It makes us criminal.   It brings out the worst in us; the need to prey on the weak & spit on the helpless.   Argue as much as you want that these people CHOSE to do something wrong; that has nothing to do with what YOU choose to do.   Who you are.   What you are.

I’m not impressed with people’s choices.

If that makes me uncool in your book, it doesn’t really matter to me.   It never has.

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74 responses to “DUI Wednesdays: Kick Em When They’re Down!

  1. Thanks for posting that. Someone else’s error doesn’t justify cruelty from someone else. That’s a good point. See you next week!

  2. The creators of that Facebook page do nothing to educate people or help in the prevention of future DUI arrests. They simply enjoy the suffering of others. The people that were posted on the HPD site already are paying a price – they already were humiliated with having their picture on the HPD DUI site, and they almost certainly will be convicted of the DUI offense and have to serve whatever penalty is given to them. Why not spend this energy on PREVENTION of DUI instead?

    The irony is that many of these people who are acting smug and ridiculing others on this Facebook page may one day have their mug shot appear on the HPD web site. I hope they enjoy it when their peers kick them when THEY are down and out.

    Shame on these people…

  3. Good post. I have alternately looked at and avoided the Wednesday pages, looking because if someone I know is there, I want to know about it and if it’s a friend (or former student) to give him or her a call. A few years ago, a former student of mine was very publicly busted for being part of an all-young-women ecstasy ring and the response by most who knew her seemed to be either avoidance or a kind of embarrassed laughter. It always bothered me that I didn’t give her a call and just say I loved her. I often think that if I see someone I know on that webpage, that’s what I should do.

    In weeks when I haven’t looked, it’s because I don’t want to know if someone I know is there, especially not a former student, because part of me DOES judge the people on that list, ‘though they haven’t yet been determined to be guilty of anything. Will I be able to call and say I love them without at the same time judging them? I know I’ll be disappointed.

    I’m not even really sure what the county thinks is the benefit of this thing. Is the fear of public humiliation a more motivating deterrent than the fear of killing someone else?

  4. Driving drunk is stupid. Period. You take your drivers license knowing the rules and what the law requires of you. Driving is a privilege, not a right. With all the attention in the news on the consequences of drinking and driving, there is no way you can say “Oh I didn’t know.” I agree that if you get a DUI, its a much better alternative to what ever else could have gone wrong. If you get arrested, lose you license, have your picture posted on the internet…well that’s what you get for being stupid. No one put a gun to your head and made you take all those shots. If they did, then maybe you need new friends or you had better change bars.

    Nobody is perfect. I mean nobody. People make mistakes. That what makes us human. Hopefully we all can learn from our mistakes. Better yet, learn from others.

    Some more than others have an axe to grind with the people who get DUI’s. Usually they have a good reason. Unfortunately its because of tragedy. To be honest, I don’t feel any sympathy for people who get pulled over and busted. I know a lot of people that has happened to. Friends even. Most of them learn their lesson. Some of them just keep on doing it thinking that they will never be that drunk driver on T.V. who ran over that kid or killed that old lady. No one ever wants to be that guy. But it happens, and it happens way too much.

    Over the course of my life it seems that I have always been the DD or the Key Master. For as long as I can remember, I’m the guy that you hate when I am telling you that there is no way you will get your keys tonight. I’m the guy that makes sure you get home safe because I am your friend and you are important to me. Sometimes, I am the guy that you will not be friends with because somehow I offended or bruised your fragile little ego when I would not let you drive. It’s easier to blame me for you not scoring or making you look bad and calling me an asshole, instead of looking in the mirror to see where the problem really is.

    There have been times when I was not successful in keeping friends from their cars. Only to later end up pulling them from whats left of their vehicle. Alive or dead. I had a friend kill an entire family on vacation and everyone else in his car. I wish to god that all that happened to him was a DUI. I have even had friends lost their jobs in HPD because of drunk driving. Will someone I love will be taken away from me because they are too stupid to not drive of give the keys to a friend? Or worse yet, be killed by another idiot that thought they could drive while under the influence. Not a good thought.

    If you get busted and your pic is on DUI Wednesday…too bad. I have not looked at that, but I don’t need to. I know what its about. Its sad that another group of idiots engage in mob mental feeding frenzy in order to feel better about themselves. As for the Facebook Witch hunt…if its getting out of hand, and it sounds like it is, then it needs to be shut down. People have a right to their opinions, but if all you have to do is make fun stupid people, then what are you? Its especially sad if you stalk them and post crap on their page, just because you can.

    But this is just some of my own experiences and opinions. No one need subscribe. I’m no better than anyone else.

    The bottom line is that no one wins with drinking and driving.

    You all know that.

    I do really like the story of you holding card games after hours so peeps could sober up enough to go home. I think that was awesome. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and stories Lauren, I look forward to more.

    Sam

  5. I don’t think drunk driving is right. I’m no pot. I’ve seen some friends leave a bar and drive home when I didn’t think it was a good idea. Personally, I’ve slept in my car (door locked), been driven home, picked up and taken care of when I’ve stepped beyond the boundaries of my good sense. IMO, everyone is responsible – friends don’t let friends drive drunk is a good motto. So I’m pretty sure just about every “fan” on that DUI Wednesdays page is guilty of allowing someone they know or love leave a bar or party after having a few.

    Plus I don’t think posting offenders pics online does anything but embarrass them and their families. Will it prevent someone from doing it? Probably not. We all think we’re immortal on some level. I mean, what’s next? There should be harsher punishments – not embarrassment.

    Everything is funny until it happens to you or someone you love. How would they feel if someone posted their picture for farting in public? Or yelling at their kid? Or cheating? I for one am not one to throw stones – I know everyone…EVERYONE, makes mistakes of all magnitudes. So I choose to focus on making good decisions going forward.

  6. I received the FB DUI page recommendation, took a look at photos (some, I have to admit were silly) and the comments (generally all brutal). While I suppose the “intent” of the HPD DUI website is to deter drinking and driving, the FB DUI page does nothing of the sort. It sets the foundation for vitriolic comments and unwarranted attacks to be launched on an individual…not their action. Furthermore, an individual’s situation is not clearly distinguished leaving room for so many assumptions, and most people choose to make negative suppositions. Even though a person may have been caught just once, they are pigeonholed with all drunk drivers; a conglomerate of some sort.

    In no way am I saying that drunk driving is acceptable or allowable, it isn’t. The basis for my argument here is public pages of DUI arrests should not be available, especially those with free-for-all commentary. I don’t believe other people should feel a sense of entitlement to exact justice on others with their crude comments. It’s beyond me how one can revel in another’s misery as the very nature of its “reward” is self-serving in the extreme.

  7. Ok, right now, i’m pissed. i had a -long- thing to say in response to this blog post, and the site totally tanked on my arse, and lost everything I wrote. What a pisser, seriously.

    And I’ve already signed-on to this site.

    i think what i said was constructive, but i’m not prepared to re-write the entire thing.

    it sounded like this, in summary: (phuck me, I’m pissed at wordpress right now):
    friends and bartenders should assume responsibility at a certain point, especially when they know the person drove there. Unpopular as this may sound, culpability is defined by the idea that “something shitful was happening, but you chose to do nothing about it”. It means “no specific intention to do anything bad”, but the “willingness to be inconsiderate of the downstream effects of your choice, knowing the outcome could be bad”.

    So lets focus on the 3-5 people who let you do what these DUI people did, and be somewhat more constructive about this, and be pissed at our friends instead. Let’s face it, most people don’t drink alone. Just because they weren’t behind the wheel doesn’t mean they had no part to play in the outcome.

    I got rid of my car (which had serious, tits btw) to avoid a DUI. I live in Chicago and don’t need to drive anyway.

    Lauren: I like the way you think. The focus has to change. When people are permitted to get that screwed up, it says more about the way we work in “packs” than it does about the individual.

    Word, Shane

  8. i agree with everything you said on all counts. now we need to encourage everyone to report the fb group as inappropriate and an invasion of privacy. to be honest, i don’t even know why the police department posts these pictures up.

  9. Lynn, how is this an “invasion of privacy”? HPD posts these pictures on a public website.

    Additionally, these people drove under the influence while endangering everyone (including themselves) on the road. HPD and local newspaper made it very well known that their pictures would be taken if caught driving under the influence.

    Let me ask you something? How do you feel about the DUI drivers who have killed someone/people but only got a slap on the wrist (aka probation or little jail time)?

  10. How does a few Photoshop alterations of a mugshot equate to a witch hunt? This type of overblown histrionics indicate that you need to see your Psychiatrist to up your meds or perhaps supplement your therapy with some Cognitive/Behavioral exercises. A little cajoling has never hurt anyone and is insignificant compared to the time spent sitting in HPD cell block or the potential for further incarceration. Get off your soapbox and go listen to some Morrissey.

  11. DUI Wednesday got me thinking twice. My trainer told me if I slipped I won’t be able to fight Spiderman again.

    Buh-Buh-Buh-Bonesaw is READY!!!!

  12. to everyone who’s whining, don’t drink and drive simple enough, if you get caught then thats your fault that you fucked up. don’t blame the HPD for taking a mugshot.

    sad story bro =(

  13. Lauren,

    Do you think you are better than people now spamming the facebook page with your “Holier Than Thou” message/blog and deleting some of your “friends” just because it doesn’t fit to your ideals? Irony at its best!

    Delete me for truth! HA!

  14. Wow, all at once! I see someone got wind of the opening story in this post! =)

    Milton =) Actually, I haven’t deleted anyone nor have I mentioned this blog on FB except in (I think) 1 private message. I did make an update prior to posting this blog about how I felt about the FB group, but that’s about it. Very few people fit my ideals, including me, so there’s no point in deleting anyone. If I did, that definitely would be irony! I’m afraid I am unable to delete you for truth. For assumption perhaps. But no, you can stay.

    Die_lawn – I think you’re missing the point here. I’m not defending any DUI offenders. I’m defending common decency in those around them.

    And Kevin! =) I think it’s more than a little cajoling. Just as your comment is a little more than voicing an opinion (It’s flashy! I like it!). If you can get beyond the personal insult stuff & just look at the dynamics of that group, try to see how it is beneficial to those who are participating in it. It’s not. It’s an exercise in unified persecution of other people. How does that make the participants better people? It doesn’t. It brings out their worst.

    Anyway, thanks guys, & give my ex-friends my regards. I don’t wish them ill; I’m just glad we are out of each other’s… states. =)

  15. The whole idea of DUI wednesdays is a breath of fresh air. Just the simple fact that it causes such reactions from people in any way, shape, or form proves that it’s a success. Its meant to open the dialogue and bring a serious issue to the forefront of people’s thoughts, which is exactly what it did. This is also the mission of the DUI Wednesday Facebook page. I don’t see how your grandstanding and trying to make YOURSELF feel better by stating that “I drove my friends home drunk,” or “I took my friends keys to keep them from driving home drunk,” has any bearing on what these people did when they got caught. Seems like the holier than thou finger should be pointing in the oher direction.

    Fact of the matter is these individuals thought it would be okay to break the law because for the most part, they remain anonymous in the grand foray of that which is the legal system of america. Well to that, I applaud DUI Wednesdays for breaking that mold which has been in place for far too long. People have a RIGHT to know which miscreants are endangering them and others.

    What you fail to realize is that if you choose to endanger people, they might get upset about it. These people are lucky that their crime against humanity is only being punished with public ridiculing from the majority of the masses. Does it in any way make the suspects lesser than those commenting? No, it just makes them unlucky. Im almost certain that those doing the commenting and belittling have done things just as wrong,…. difference is they didnt get caught.

    I see nothing wrong with what the people making funny pictures and comments are doing. If you don’t want to be made fun of, DONT GET CAUGHT. Simple as that. You might not like what the people are doing, and you may “ridicule” people for joining the facebook frenzy that is DUI Wednesdays, but don’t look down YOUR Holier than thou nose without first trying to understand the good that this website has done,… to get people talking about DUIs and the danger they pose to everyone, which, ironically, is exactly what it did for you as well.

    Get enough people talking about it, and sooner or later, EVERYONE will know about it and pay attention.

    BRAVO to DUI WEDNESDAYS!

  16. I understand what you’re saying. Thing is, I’m not against the HPD weekly posting. I think, for the very reasons you state, that it’s possibly a good idea. I’m against the FACEBOOK GROUP. These are 2 different things. The former presents the public with simple facts: here are the pictures of people who got busted for DUI. The Facebook group is the public persecuting these people themselves. Two very different things. And although one may infer the other, it doesn’t make it right.

    Again, I’m not defending the drunk drivers. As I’ve said before, not grandstanding or bragging: when friends have gotten DUI’d, I often feel that they were LUCKY. I also think about what else I can do next time to prevent it from happening. Please don’t equate my dislike of the Facebook Group with a desire for irresponsibility on anyone’s part.

    I can see your point about the potential good of this website. Sure. In theory, this is just an extension of HPD. All you do-gooders are only carrying out justice. Applause. But the truth is the Facebook group revels in the excuse to abuse. One positive result (already present in the HPD postings) is that drunks will be more afraid to drive. The negative result is that cruelty, abuse, & hate become celebrated social traits.

    This might not be something that you can distinguish. That would be the difference between you & me, & the reason why you think this FB group is awesome, & I think it’s tragic.

  17. as I stated, they’re lucky the ONLY thing the people are doing is poking and prodding them with pictures and comments.

    In the olden days, they would’ve been hanged for running someone over in their drunken stupor while driving their horsey wagon,.. too bad.

    Oh, the good ol days.

    Anyone who’s feelings are hurt by the pictures or comments really needs to look in the mirror, and then slit their throat/wrist. Seriously,….. sticks & stones
    If it really bothers them enough, then they should change their behavior accordingly.

    I think we can both agree the world is a very cruel place, and has been since the dawn of time. Nothing you say, do, or point at, will ever change this fact. Do or don’t do whatever it is you want to do/not do, but it will forever be. Call me a pessimist, but I call it reality.

    What people say or do will continually define the current demographic’s attitude and personality. Right now, people are fed up with irresponsible jackasses who think its okay to break the law as long as no one else knows about it. ANYTHING that brings greater awareness to their crimes is fine in my book, and if I ever get caught for a DUI, I deserve no less than all the cruelty that has befallen my fellow humans that were guilty/arrested of such beforehand.

    Say what you want, but unlike those you hopelessly defend in your quest for “human rights” for the drunkys, I really don’t give a damn what someone on the internet thinks of me. If the DUI hall of famers don’t feel the same way, then they have no one to blame but themselves for getting caught and being ridiculed. This has nothing to do with hate of those people, but hate of stupid and irresponsible behavior BY those people. Thats something you have overlooked. Its nothing personal, and if the offenders take offense, that’s on them, not on those posting comments or pics.

    Education with entertainment is where its at. DUI Wednesdays are like those old television commercials which portrayed a frying pan on a burner with a person holding an egg. The person goes on to say “this is your brain,” then cracks the egg in the frying pan and states, “this is your brain on drugs, any questions?” ITS THE SAME THING, with a bit more spice. Some like it spicy, some don’t. Those that don’t should steer clear of spicy things like driving drunk to keep themselves from the proverbial Hot Tamale of ridicule.

    I see these people responsible for the comments and photoshops as concerned citizens doing their part to discourage drunk driving. Who am I to discourage them from performing a service for others they see as their civic duty? Im certainly not holier than them. Just as you thought it was your duty to write about them and what they do on wordpress, they feel it is theirs to photoshop and comment on facebook and forums about drunk lawbreakers. I guess that makes them worthless cretins,… Touche,…

  18. Wow. Such hatred.

    I can keep repeating myself or trying to explain in simpler terms what I already posted but I know you are intelligent enough to already know that, & that your purpose here isn’t really to address the issue but to address me. Which is pointless, you know.

    You can continue to spew hate & defend hate. It’s your thing, & it’s the reason we’re not friends. I’ve got to go make breakfast & check Restaurant City. =)

  19. THIS -> “The negative result is that cruelty, abuse, & hate become celebrated social traits.”

    Bravo Lauren.

    HPD website = educate

    The rest = ridicule

    /agree /sign

  20. Thanks for your honesty Lauren. I was seriously considering joining that FB page until I took a deeper look into what that “fan page” was all about. Its a catch 22 for me since I work in the recovery field. Will the DUI site possible persuade those who’ve been caught to not drink and drive again? I hope so but the reality is it won’t. Even those mocking others who got caught and find humor in their demise…most of them will probably be featured on the site soon enough.

    Are the photoshoped pictures funny? Hell yes. Do those who have possibly ruined their career deserve to be ridiculed? Hell no. The HPD site in itself is a brutal reminder how prevalent drunk driving is. However linking peoples FB pages to the DUI pictures…NOT cool.

    My “nosy” qualities lead to me check out DUI Wednesdays. I won’t lie, seeing drugged out drunks posing/modeling for a police photo is amusing. What is sad is when people further demean and ridicule those who have obviously made poor decisions. The irony of the whole thing is those who are “kicking a dead horse” will probably be wishing they showed compassion and grace if they ended up as a future DUI Wednesday photo.

  21. Spewing hate is a way of life. If hate is the only way to initiate a positive change, then I shall be the harbinger of hate. You guys needs me, so you can point and say ‘there’s the bad guy,’

    Just as soldiers fight wars so other dont have to, I hate so others can stay in their little happy worlds while others do the dirty work. So convenient.

  22. Everyone lives in their own world regardless of what you do, dear. Except for you. You make your own world, & from the looks of it, it’s not happy. And believe it or not, I don’t wish that on you.

  23. Whoa you guys. I think we should make a website that takes pictures of people who don’t wash their hands after they use the bathroom. Icky icky people. And we should make a public service announcement that teaches everyone how to wash their hands. Wetting the germs just makes them feel refreshed.

    I’m just glad we can live in a country where we can have an opinion. And my opinion is poopy hands spread germs.

  24. I’m trying to compile a list of closed down places in Hawaii, which are NOT tsunami related, care to help me list some?

  25. I went and actually looked at both the DUI Wednesday website and the infamous Facebook fan page. It is my amateur perception that normally people are presumed innocent until proven guilty – although let’s be honest. Guilty, guilty, guilty! Right? I just think that before we hang someone out to dry, their guilt should be proven beyond a reasonable doubt and their just punishment be dealt out by someone qualified to do so. For someone like me, simply charging someone with a crime doesn’t say much.

    Now wait. Before you get all “da kine”. If you drink…you should not drive. You don’t get drunk by accident. I know most of these people are in fact, guilty. I’m okay with a site that lists convicted offenders and in all fairness, what punishment they were dealt. I assume it varies case to case. Which proves that there are degrees of guilt. Oh the irony.

    Then maybe we can decide what degree of public humiliation they deserve. Two glasses of wine at dinner? Maybe just a mustache. 32 beers after fishing? Definitely devil horns and projectile vomit. Maybe a mustache too. I’m no pot. I get angry too. There are crimes that make my blood boil and I’m sure if given the opportunity I would spontaneously love to bitch slap a few myself.

    I hardly hail Facebook as a reliable public forum, albeit a popular one. It has served as a desensitized manner in which one can almost take on an alter ego. So I don’t hold everyone accountable for their behavior. Its super easy to talk smack through an email, or fan page, or text message. Not so easy to say it to a live person. If you want to be more effective, try publicly humiliating someone with a Sharpie before they get in their car. I’ve seen it happen. Now THAT is funny stuff.

    So if anyone cares, I applaud the intention of the DUI Wednesday page and even the Facebook fan page. Whether we agree with it or not, its a free country (thank god).

    And I still think poopy hands are gross.

  26. the unified persecution you speak of is basically the internet equivalent of 100 ants collectively kicking mount rushmore. do you really think that the persons are being significantly harmed by all of this? perhaps you believe that your own weak personal boundaries personifies characteristics found in all human beings but i can assure you that you are in the minority. anyone that can be so deeply and personally hurt by strangers who don’t even know them could probably use a healthy dose of hazing to build some sort of desensitization to the evils of the world. i wonder if perhaps this flag you are waving is somehow satisfying some perverse sense of self-satisfaction?

    it is a gloomy day in hawaii. i’d like to invite you to lay on my couch with me all day while we stare at the rain, sigh heavy sighs, nibble on some ritz crakers topped with nutella and celexa and blast some joy division.

  27. Kevin, so far the only one of your group that has made any valid points would be your leader, but you are so charming. I bet you could turn me on to a lot of music I’ve never heard in my life.

    I know I’m in the minority. I’ll never be one of the cool kids. And having been an Asian kid growing up in Denver & Akron, I’ve had a little experience with persecution. Perhaps you haven’t, which would explain your rather hyperbolic perceptions of my opinion.

    Anyway, little ant, if I am being silly & you folks are being harmless, then why are you still here? And before assuming no one is hurt by the FB group, do you really know? Have you spoken with any? And do any of you whose FB profiles are there for any persecuted party to see & click on think that not one of them will consider retribution?

  28. I think you and I can both agree that the DUI webpage humiliates drunk drivers. We can also agree that this was the obvious intent of the HPD by making the images public and advertising the website. So we can conclude the HPD intends to humiliate drunk drivers.

    Now the Facebook page is also made to humiliate drunk drivers. If both the DUI website and the facebook are humiliating drunk drivers (again as HPD intended), who are you to say only one type of humiliation right and justifiable, but the other is somehow wrong?

    Furthermore, if you’re so concerned about the DUI criminals being humiliated on the internet, why did you include three of the images from the facebook in your blog? It’s wrong to use the images of criminals on a facebook, but it’s okay to blog about them on your website and use those very same images?

    You could have just as easily acknowledged to yourself that yes, you disagree with what is happening but no, you will not take part and simply moved on. Instead you’ve become an active participant further adding fuel to the fire by piquing interest and directing traffic to both the HPD DUI page and the DUI Facebook.

    It seems to me your blog was more about pointing out how self-righteous you are for being upset, rather then about helping anyone save face or retain their dignity.

  29. Check comment #22. There’s also a short & sweet distinction at #27. In answer to my use of images that are already there (& therefore just as HPD images are already there, etc), my use is to help explain what I am talking about rather than to hurt anyone. I actually did scratch out people’s names just in case… although I forgot on that last one. My bad. I meant to.

    In answer to why don’t I just keep my thoughts to myself, you could just easily not read my blog. However, if someone you care for has asked you to come here to argue with me, lacking any other friends who can write, I understand. It’s cool. You gotta do what you gotta do.

    As far as directing traffic to the fanpage, I can assure you that it attracts & repels traffic all on its own. Just because we’re talking about it isn’t going to make people join it; I posted my thoughts to describe what I feel is wrong about that page, a sentiment which many people already felt & were glad to know that someone else felt that as well. As for me being self-righteous, I dunno! At least I’m being nice. =)

    I still don’t think anyone can beat DUI Rider yet but at least you were addressing issues rather than focusing primarily on insults.

    Anyway, I’ve got to go to work in a bit; I thank you all for your comments. I think the best stuff has already been covered but I’m open to the possibility that someone will come up with something I haven’t thought of yet. To be totally honest, when I first read comment #21 for a moment I thought, “Omg, she’s right!!” & she was, on many counts, but still wasn’t actually addressing my issue. That was really excellent discussion, marred by personal stuff. She actually made me feel a little better about the FB group itself; I wish that all the users there felt more like she professed to feel.

    Thank you to the people who have commented, messaged, whispered or phoned me to voice your support or agreement. I really do appreciate it. It’s the closest thing to cool!

    Anyway, good stuff people! I can’t even imagine what I would write about in my next post because I don’t think anything can follow this. I may have to reminisce about the first time I saw the Dot On Oprah video on YouTube.

  30. @ Antithesis – “DUI criminals being humiliated”, really now?? What ever happen to innocent before proven guilty. You do know that these mugshots are of people who have not yet been convicted right dude?

    And how can we guarantee that all cops are not unscrupulous when they make arrests? All its going to take for this to all come crashing down on the HPD is when someone is vindicated and sues for wrongful arrest

  31. You look like you’d be on the DUI website even when you’re sober. No wonder why you’re so against it. Ugly bitch.

  32. Geez all Lauren pointed out was that she didn’t like the site. It’s not like there is a petition to close anything. For those making personal attacks on her or anyone w opposing views… why are you so angry? When it cones to drunk drivers…EVERYONE loses. It affects those who drive drunk along w those who don’t. If there was this much attention put toward positive solutions maybe DUI Wed wouldn’t have so many pictures of people who not only risked the lives of others but have quite possibly totally ruined their own.

  33. my leader? ma’am, i take offense to that assumption – i march to the beat of my own drum! *snaps suspenders proudly*

    growing up in akron? puh-leeeeassssse. i have spent many months in hamilton, ohio living with my aunt during summers, watching bengal’s training camps, driving all the way to king’s island and crossing over frequently into kentucky to stay on one of the lakes. my aunt and cousins are japanese and i am darkanese. it’s not that bad. if you’re not one of the cool kids, that your own damn fault that you elected not to become a clone. were you joan of arc in a previous life? because you have martyr written all over you.

    oh boo hoo. it stopped raining here and the sun has come out and now i have to face real life. i guess i’ll venture out, walk barefoot in puddles and play some early cure on my ipod.

  34. Lauren, I heart you. Its so funny how all these trolls are coming over here and calling YOU self righteous or holier than thou when their only purpose in coming here at all is to demean and attack you. Do they even realize they’re basically announcing they have no credibility yet expecting to have any kind of impact?

    They’re totally making your case for you. See people, this is what a hater looks like. This is the kind of person that signs up at that fansite. This is the kind of tool that Lauren is hoping we don’t turn into.

    And Lauren, stop hitting on Kevin.

  35. I’ll admit, I jumped on the bandwagon and posted the site on my facebook page. But I think it went too far with some people. I’ve seen the facebook page dedicated to DUI Wed. I think it’s sad that someone I know, is up there because he had one too any beers. Yes, it’s his fault. He chose to drink and yes I think he deserves to be up there with the rest, but I do not agree with people taking his picture and photoshopping it for their amusement.

  36. You know, I once asked a cop outside (what used to be) The Wave one time if he could give me a breathalizer so that I would know if I was legal or not. He said no. How ironic is that? I personally think it would save some lives and a lot of trouble if a person who’s had a few drinks could find out from a cop if it’s safe for this person to drive. If I’m over the limit, I’ll chill at the bar and drink some water, maybe have a bite to eat to help me sober up, then check back later. And if the person has to pay for this test, I see nothing wrong with that either. Just my 2 cents.

  37. lauren, you posed the question earlier asking if we asked any of the “victims” of the ridicule and were berated for their actions how this has affected them, or something thereof. in short, yes i have personal friends that have been on the DUI website and gained infamy on the facebook profile; and yes, i have asked them how they were doing amidst all of this. their answer: fine. there was no ill will towards those members of facebook. there was no loss of self esteem or self worth after being chastised, although innocent until proven guilty, for their negligent actions the day (or evening) they were arrested and taken into custody. one good friend left the bar after having two drinks following a long day of work. he blew 6/1000 over the legal limit. impaired? probably not. legally intoxicated? you bet. do i feel bed for him? yes. does he deserve you be on the website for dui? you bet your ass sweet cheeks. majority of the people that are arrested and charged made a conscientious decision to grab their keys and make that drive home. majority of the people realize what was wrong in their actions (as it is seen in their facial expressions in the mug shot) and recant for what has been done… but i digress. the fact of the matter is that most of those people dont give a flying fuck what some random person has to say about them on the internet. it isnt slander. it isnt libel.

    the intent and use of most fans of the facebook page is NOT to defame their character, but rather (as most would agree) see who we know that has been arrested and detained for driving under the influence of an intoxicant and/or impaired. you must realize that it is commonplace for us here in hawaii to be curious of such things. look at the old folks who turn straight to the police blotter to see who they know that was arrested and then to the obituaries to see who they know that died.

    it is interesting really, to speculate at the normal lives these people lead. as for me, the DUI webpage and database is of interest as a means of social control and how it applies to society as a whole. if we take a societal approach to why, although it is understood that driving intoxicated is not tolerated by society, why do we continue with these actions? at what point do we lose control of our sense of self preservation and risk getting arrested (at best) or bodily injury or death (at worst)?

    i must applaud you for bringing so much attention to the topic of DUI WEDNESDAYS. it is, as you see, entertainment as well as education at its finest for many members. i hope you do not make further errs in lumping all of the members into a singular group of those that enjoy wallowing in the misery and misfortunes of others. that would be an obvious fallacy. in all, your attempt to draw negative attention to the social group is ultimately erroneous in and of itself because, as the saying goes: “any publicity is good publicity, be it good or bad.”

    on a side note, i do want to condemn the faggotry that is happening above this (as well as that following) that speak of harm and malicious intent upon you. seriously? why are you sons of bitches gonna go and tell a random woman that she can slit her wrists because she has an opinion??! grow the fuck up you immature, juvenile bastards. minus well follow your own advice, at least the world will have one less burden to the general good of society weighing us down. you fucking punks.

    and yes, stop flirting with my kevin. i dont like the fact that you are getting cute with him… >=[

  38. OMG consider me chastised if only by that wall of text! I think the only thing I’d like to respond at this point is I don’t understand why people think I’m campaigning against the fansite. I have not ever asked anyone not to join it. I don’t CARE how many people join the site. Some will & some won’t. So what?

    The entire reason behind my post was to define what bothered me about the fansite. That’s all. No campaign, no publicity. I wasn’t even expecting anyone to read it! I’m so flattered & amazed that it’s been this busy, although obviously there are some personal grudges fueling the frenzy. Meh, not necessarily bad. I learned a lot.

    I’ve also heard from a few friends that my definition of what was troubling me also helped them discern what was bothering them. This wasn’t my original aim but it’s nice. Actually, it’s really, really cool.

    I think the best of any discussion was pretty much already hashed out in the 20s but feel free to carry on. =)

    And I don’t know why you guys think I am hitting on Kevin.

  39. im just fucking around…the only pertinent things are the first and second-to-last paragraph.

    youre not pouring at 9th ave anymore, are you?

  40. Still there & another Korean-ish spot in town; maybe not for a lot longer though. Have a few other things going on. Also, I have no idea who this is.

  41. I find it interesting that these DUI Wedneday fanpage members would come here in droves to maliciously attack an individual on her own personal opinion. You keep rattling off about how the sole purpose of the fanpage is to deter dunk driving (fine, we get it. you want to fight for the fucken cause), but this pack mentality is not really helping your case. Just pretty much cements what the blog owner is trying to convey in in her blog…you just all sound like a bunch of rabid turkeys.

  42. In reference to “beef” between Jon and Kitty Katz. I’m sorry. But that’s hilarious. Although I think Jennstarr sounds like a stripper name too. But its what some of my friends call me – I have a ring to prove it! :) And I am the farthest thing from a stripper! That’s kind of gross to think about actually.

    Lauren, I love you! :) I swear you must be thought provoking, interesting and charismatic to inspire such an outpouring of opinions…good or bad. Although, I really didn’t like the personal attacks on you. Not that you need me coming to your defense.

    Bottom Line: (I’m aware its not proper English) – Get all kine people in this world.

  43. Jon asked to have his (hilarious!) comment deleted because he realized he had just stooped. Frankly I don’t know what she means about his grammar; it’s pretty ironic she can’t spell “hey” though. Oops, did I just stoop…?

    And thank you Melanie & Jenn. You are troll salve.

  44. I asked Lauren to remove my previous post – for some odd reason I decided to be kind. Being called out on grammar from someone who doesn’t know the difference between hay (which is what cows eat) and hey (what she should have used) shows that a battle of wit with a twit would have been pointless. Anyway, HPD is getting rid of DUI Wednesdays; just thought it was pertinent to this discussion.

    Oh and for those who dont know what pertinent means…. relevant, to the point, apposite, appropriate, suitable, fitting, fit, apt, applicable, material, germane, to the purpose, apropos; my earlier posts were done via my phone + I was a little angry, hence my “grammar” may not have been on par with the magnificent writers who graced Lauren with a massive influx of viewers. Shit, who am I kidding. Someone is gonna rail on me for stating facts. Bite me.

  45. And by the way Lauren, very nice writing. Your content is quite varied and your tone engaging. There are actually not that many good blogs out there so I hope you keep it up. Don’t allow yourself to be bogged down by idiots who can’t even read sufficiently to be able to make a relevant argument. And I admire your courtesy to morons. I can’t do it myself.

    You have one more subscriber here.

  46. Lauren,

    I read your blog on the FB page but I didn’t realize it was your work until just now. Personally, I became a “fan” of the DUI Wednesdays FB page for informational purposes, somewhat akin to looking at the “most wanted” listings in the newspapers. The FB page also keeps the pictures up longer than the HPD website which is great for times when I didn’t catch the original posting.

    I have to agree that some people take it too far in their poking fun at the arrested individuals. I’ve never felt the need to publish any snide remarks or comments about a suspect; it just didn’t occur to me. No offense to anyone who posted a comment there…they’re entitled to their opinion and I respect that. But they also need to respect (and accept) the fact that others may not agree with them.

    But, as they say, what goes around comes around. I’m sure there will come a time when the same people persecuting others on the DUI Wednesdays FB page wish a spotlight wasn’t shining on them for making a mistake.

  47. In response to “Mari”

    I must say that I was a little upset by your remarks. I’m not sure if your post was directed at Native Hawaiians or just Hawaii residents in general. A California resident is called a Californian, an Oregon resident is known as an Oregonian, etc. Not so in Hawaii due to the existence of the Native Hawaiian community (of which I am a part.)

    In the future, I suggest that you choose your words a little more carefully. I think your point would’ve been better communicated if not for the fact that it was muddled by the insults that accompanied it.

  48. Sheesh, I don’t normally do it but I deleted a couple of comments because 1 was racist & the other one was just a little too violent for this blog. Such exciting things happen when I’m gone! Please don’t continue that particular discussion. =)

    Relax folks! It’s just the internet!

  49. Good point. Can’t remember if I joined it or not. If I did I will quit. The mockery is out of hand. I also wonder if it actually works.

  50. wow.. you pissed off a lot of people. Amazing how they all think you’re on a crusade to shut down their fun so they get all butthurt. Some good arguments FOR and AGAINST in there.. but then someone comes in on full “swearing will get me noticed faster” mode and derails the coherent flow. Personally, linking stuff to someones actual facebook page is pretty dick move. Yeah, that’s someone you know there. Cool. Why is it your job to make sure they get even more crap for what they did?

    I honestly don’t know why people take such a huge interest in other peoples dumb moments. The people who actually KILL anyone aren’t on this page the majority of the time, they’re usually in bodybags. All you’re doing is making fun of the ones who got caught. The really dangerous guys are the ones who the cops never get to touch. Only the mortician.

    mind your own business, move along and keep your passive agressive vigilante crap to yourself.

    let’s see how many comments we can get this up to.

  51. I LOL’ed over the fact that someone being “abused” on DUI Wednesdays was so butthurt by the “abuse” that they called in Favors at HPD to get it temporarily suspended.

    No one is butthurt about Lauren being on a crusade to shut down DUI Wednesdays. In fact the educated reader knew that she wasn’t on a crusade at all. She had her useless opinion, and others did as well. As far as for linking to someone’s facebook page, “the accused” do that all on their own. You see, simply by setting up a Facebook page, anyone who inputs that person’s name in one of the millions of search engines on the internet will undoubtedly come upon a facebook page dawning, YOU GUESSED IT!…… THAT VERY SAME NAME!!!! No linking involved einsteins.

    And its a proven fact with numbers to back it up that MAJORITY of drunk drivers are told by their friends not to drive home but do so anyway. Its also a proven fact that MAJORITY of drunk drivers responsible for fatalities while driving while intoxicated SURVIVE the ordeal.

    The public wants to put a face to the names of the accused DUI offenders, and one way or another, they’ll do just that. This was by far one of the BEST programs HPD had ever come up with to bring public awareness to a serious problem. But thanks to the “butthurts” who intentionally set up their own myspace/facebook pages and intentionally posted pictures of themselves associated with their names/myspace/facebook, and who also INTENTIONALLY DROVE WHILE INTOXICATED, the rest of us will no longer have a face to associate with the drunken wantoness that is OVUII.

    Add this comment to your total mister,….

  52. Yet another person who completely missed the point. I’m done repeating what I already said or pointing out parts you obviously missed.

    Thanks for your demonstration; you have successfully made my point.

  53. Oops, I just noticed this is DUI Rider, who already missed my point earlier. My bad.

    Just FYI:

    If you enter a person’s name in FB search, it doesn’t mean you’re going to find them. If they’ve blocked Search in their privacy options or if there are several people with the same name, or if they don’t use their real name (much like you tough guys here posting your comments), Search won’t find them. However, posting a LINK to their page will, my dear Einstein. You should have done a little more homework.

    As far as HPD desisting in posting pics, I haven’t actually read anything official but unless you can tell us the identity of the person who “called in a favor” to cease the postings, I find that hard to believe.

    What’s actually believable is logic: if any of these people end up NOT GUILTY they can turn around & sue HPD for defamation of character, which defamation was blown up like a balloon by your fansite. Now, THAT is a valid reason to stop posting pics. It would have been better if HPD posted pics of those who actually did get convicted, but they would probably be better groomed for their pictures by that time.

    Your #21 was really good, if off subject, but I don’t know if you’ve got very much else to berate me for at this point except perhaps your own obvious butthurtedness, which I’m afraid I can’t really help you with. I will probably only make it worse. For that I apologize.

  54. I think they should do Speeding Thursdays, Molester Mondays, Rape Tuesdays, Murder Fridays and Crooked Saturdays so that people can get off again.

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