Recently I ended a long time friendship that was turning toxic. I say I “ended” it, but actually, I was trying to hold on to it.
I’m of the opinion that if you care about a relationship, you air any issues rather than let them fester. You do it in the spirit of fixing whatever is wrong & you talk about the issue, not the person, although sometimes that 2nd item can be subtle.
I felt hurt about a couple of recent events, so I told her in an email, which I consider the least confrontational of approaches. I was careful about using wording like “I feel like you do this” rather than “you did this,” etc. I had just had a heart-to-heart much like this with another girlfriend, & it had been quickly resolved, with good feelings on both sides.
Her 1st response should have warned me that we weren’t going to fix this. It was basically “I don’t understand why you feel that way & I don’t think I did that. What can I do to fix this?” Well, you could care that I feel hurt, for starters, I wanted to say. But I didn’t. I still thought we could reach some kind of common ground.
The more I tried to explain, the angrier she got. I know her reading comprehension is more than sufficient, but some of her responses seemed to me as if she was hearing totally different things coming from me than what I’d said. I ignored the details; I was shooting for the single issue of whether or not we were still friends at all. But I was completely missing the point. I should have given the details more thought; their very existence was a message & I wasn’t getting it.
In my 3rd email I said that maybe I was expecting too much & being selfish about our friendship. I said I would stop worrying about us & stop complaining to her. At this point I knew that we weren’t close any more, but I thought we could at least just forget about it & be civil.
While trying to pay my Oceanic bill, I was balked by a security warning saying that the site’s certificate was expired & that I shouldn’t proceed since if I did, rabid, slime covered marsupials might be spontaneously generated out of my video card (I’ve got an GTX 660 in there. Superclocked.) & stream out of the generous exhaust holes on my case (It’s a full sized case. They’re big.) & eat the Jack Skellington bobblehead I have on my desk serving as my internet muse & general moral support as well as getting slime all over everything. Also, my video card would cease to work. Or it said something like that. It was all in red. Whatever.
Anyway, I enlisted the help of TWC chat support, which is toted on their website as being “the fastest way to reach” them. I entered my information, & my question: “I’m trying to pay my bill at your site but it says the certificate is expired. Can I just go ahead anyway or should I try again tomorrow?”
I was first assisted by Benjamin Gray, who informed me that “internet browser technical support,” which was the department I’d chosen, was not the right department. I was then helped by Abraham (no last name; a lot of the biblical dudes don’t have those), who was unable to locate my account even after asking me to go search through my physical files for the single Oceanic Cable statement which I received years ago before switching to paperless statements for my account number (Fortunately I have it written down somewhere for an event such as this. My God, I love myself). This was because Abraham was in charge of accounts in New York, not Hawaii.
This place is great for dairy products & bakery, but their meat & fish department is the worst of anywhere I’ve ever shopped in my entire life.
Here is the note I just submitted at Safeway’s website.
I’ve been shopping at the Hawaii Kai location since it was ever there. I love your store. However, one thing that I have experienced with 100% consistency is that your ahi poke is terrible. It’s not just bad. It’s inedible, maybe even poisonous.
It’s been 5 years since I returned my last pound of poke & today I decided to give it a try again, & it was a mistake. The fish is flat & metallic tasting, & so mushy that I picture someone playing mailbox baseball with it prior to chopping it up with a blunt hatchet. I purchased both “fresh” (I don’t think so, btw) & “fresh frozen” & both are terrible. Both are also so overseasoned (presumably to disguise poor fish quality?) that the slime alone (& there is a LOT of it) is probably tomorrow’s gastritis. I’m not going to ask for a refund because this was a result of my own stupidity. However, because I like your store, I’d like you to know… that fish is bad. It’s really bad.