I’m not a crushy kind of girl (unless you count Sanada Hiroyuki). I don’t spot guys particularly often; most times I’m very myopic in my social interactions & don’t even notice the hottie standing right next to my friend. It’s mating nearsightedness.
However, if a girlfriend even expresses a mere visual interest in a present male, I then experience mating blindness. If one of my girls says a guy is cute, suddenly he’s invisible to me. I can’t see him. Or, I can see him just enough to avoid walking into him & that’s about it. I’m all for getting along with boyfriends/husbands of friends, but if there’s even a notion of one of my girlfriends giving chase to a free agent, in my eyes his availability is already forgotten – he’s hers, regardless of whether or not she actually catches him.
They don’t even have to be close girlfriends. They can be just casual girlfriends that I get a drink with from time to time. With all of these girlfriends, my ability to view a guy is immediately impaired if they express even mild interest in him.
I view this as loyalty. Also practicality. Also that random guys are not as important to me as friendships. Guys have “bros before hos;” I have… well, I have nothing that rhymes quite as well. You know what I mean though.
In spite of being socially myopic, I observe a lot of people. Recently I’ve been watching a group of girls who seem like really good friends. One of the girls is a bit of a newcomer to the group, as the other 3 seem to have known each other all their lives, but they seem to all get along wonderfully. The new girl has a boyfriend, but they’re not the kind of couple that’s joined at the hip. They both often have separate social forays. However, as far as I can see, they are deeply in love. Just both pretty independent. Both are regularly hit on by those who don’t know they are in a relationship; neither are prone to jealousy & they seem fairly secure.
He has hung out with the girlfriends, without his girlfriend, due to simply running into them at a common venue, but since then one of her girlfriends fairly regularly invites him out, without inviting the new girl. Naturally I’m only observing this, but it just feels weird to me. It’s one thing to run into each other, but for the friend to start calling her friend’s boyfriend out to places seems a little aggressive, maybe even suspicious. And my personal opinion, from watching, is that there is some kind of interest on the inviting girl’s part, even if only for attention.
So here’s what I’m wondering about. Is that a betrayal of friendship? Or is that simply an acceptable “friend” behavior that I can’t relate to? Am I aberrant for thinking this is weird? I’d love to see some discussion on this. Anyone?
Update: thanks everyone for your replies! I guess there are a lot of factors to consider, & the different perspectives here make it a much more dimensional story than what it was when I started off, which makes the whole thing much more interesting for me to continue observing. Great responses; you guys rock. =)